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AS YOU WERE

by HOURS

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1.
Attack (Progress) Start with forgetting everything you’ve come to know. It makes things easier when time becomes too hard to follow. Breaking out of this state; misplaced trust. We choose to burn down everything we’ve come to love. I can’t help myself - I’m taking things back. Hold it in for self-defense and then attack. This king tide won’t drown out my home. I’ve learnt to breathe in suffocating misery. We place the verdict in those lines we’ve heard before. A comprehensive way of saying it’s not our fault, But “where do you see yourself in ten years time?” Is a question I can’t wrap my head around. I can’t help myself - I’m taking things back. Hold it in for self-defense and then attack. This king tide won’t drown out my home. I’ve learnt to breathe in suffocating misery. Every day it’s getting closer. I can feel it getting stronger. I can only hope that when it lands it’s not too close. I can’t help myself - I’m taking things back. Hold it in for self-defense and then attack. This king tide won’t drown out my home. I’ve learnt to breathe in suffocating misery. I breathe in suffocating… Learnt to breathe in suffocating misery.
2.
Change for now And there you go again. It’s not that easy when everything is just resisting. It’s unbelievable. I won’t lie, I’m losing my mind. You take too long, will you decide? It’s just another reason to run and hide. Non-stop. Whatever happened to mystery? And there you go again. Expecting everything. You assume it’s all on your time, it’s unbelievable. I won’t lie, I’m losing my mind. You take too long, will you decide? it’s just another reason to run and hide. Non-stop. Whatever happened to mystery? There you go - I’m losing my fucking mind. There you go - I’m losing.
3.
Trapped in cages / stuck in mazes. While I’m just trying to find ways of escaping. Clawing up walls and tearing up floors. I was brought up and know what was right. I was told that good days mean more than good nights. It’s a choice between waiting or leaving alone. These days I’m running out of time. And it’s alright. By all means, let’s clarify what it’s like. To be the circled prey again, like always. And you’re too scared to let me in, for shelter. New attempts at old efforts - of convincing myself. For stability, forced stability that I’m not confident in. We drag along searching for home ground with a comforting sound. Don’t get me wrong. It fucking kills me. These days I’m running out of time. And it’s alright. By all means, let’s clarify what it’s like. To be the circled prey again, like always. And you’re too scared to let me in, for shelter. When all this started to begin – I wonder… Why all this, was useless. Why I was always left alone. Get yourself out that headspace. Stop being a fucking drag – yourself back, get yourself back I tried to find some kind of resolution – some kind of conclusion. We fall behind fighting to stay as we were. Turn it around. These days I’m running out of time. And it’s alright. By all means, let’s clarify what it’s like. To be the circled prey again, like always. And you’re too scared to let me in, for shelter. When all this started to begin, I wonder.
4.
We’re punctuating negatives and calling them divides, To fix the wrongs that we can never right. While the virtuous are patient, I’m anxious about time. I’m anxious about space. And I’ll chain smoke ‘cos hey… Why the fuck not? I’m living in the god damned moment. And I’ll keep drinking far too much. ‘Cos life’s intoxicating But I’m just not feeling drunk enough. My brain feels like it’s bleeding, My fingers feel the same. I’ve had a restless night; I’ll probably sleep all fucking day. Like I don’t have shit to do – Like essays to complete, Like people to connect with, Or parents to please. And I’ll chain smoke ‘cos hey… Why the fuck not? I’m living in the god damned moment. And I’ll keep drinking far too much. ‘Cos life’s intoxicating but I’m just not drunk enough – to get the brave… The trial and error of our ways, Has got us so caught up in freaking out And going backwards To the start - where we were right. I’m unraveling cables. I’m putting on new strings. I’m working on my voice, ‘cos Matt wants me to sing. And Liv’s taking time off from working on my self-esteem. She’s got places she needs to be. And I’ll chain smoke ‘cos hey… Why the fuck not? And I’ll keep drinking far too much. ‘Cos life’s intoxicating, But I’m just not fucking drunk enough.
5.
I’m looking forward To the best of my years, still to come. The battle was sour Perseverance finally won. I held strong onto this shaking ground. Perspective only ever had my head looking down. And there you were without hesitance in your sound. You picked me up. You kick started my idle time. It doesn’t really matter but there’s an afterthought. Would we have ever gotten here if we had it all figured out? At times it is motionless, it’s comfortable and still. You are always on the frontlines of my mind. I’m starting over. Undermine the pattern of reaction. It’s the best place to begin. Attack the progress from within. I better get it right this time around. Knowing that with you life seems profound. And I had it all wrong. It’s not this place that’s changed its pace, it’s the same old beat as mine. It doesn’t really matter but there’s an afterthought. Would we have ever gotten here if we had it all figured out? At times it’s motionless, it’s comfortable and still. You are always on the frontlines of my mind.
6.
Get Back 03:18
I don’t mind - it’s all been lies. This one you’ll choke. Can’t get the last out. Put that aside, it’s unprovided. Hands clasped and on your knees, begging to please save you. Get back, get back, get back. It’s only right that I take this on – and on my own. For what is left: my eyes are dry. I over slept tonight. Withering with your intentions. Do you ever fill your speech? It manifests in disillusion – a fix to control defeat. Get back, get back, get back. It’s only right that I take this on – and on my own. Maybe we misunderstood the message. Maybe none of us are right. Maybe we’re all damned for nothing – Just fucking parasites. Get back, get back, get back. It’s only right that I take this on – and on my own.
7.
...or something like that.
8.
I have done this before. Counting bottles, ending up on the floor. For an hour or so, I know where to go. Where have I seen this before? Changing channels like a satellite whore. It’s not you. Or at least it’s not like me. I won’t blame myself. I just need something else. I won’t forget it. I just don’t get it. Where did we all go? When the best go out – I’ll stay at home. You won’t believe it ‘til you hear it but I admit I was wrong. And I remember, all over and over: the black outs, the fade outs. All entwined in my shadow. Yeah we get the point. Addicts have a habit of repeating themselves. Insults and injuries are hung up for show. And then we call it art (or fucking something like that). If you’re the chosen one, then blasphemy is keeping you from fixing yourself. Scrutinizing eyes trying to digest your mind. I won’t blame myself. I just need something. I won’t forget it. I just don’t get it. Where did we all go? When the best go out – I’ll stay at home. You won’t believe it ‘til you hear it but I admit I was wrong. And I remember, all over and over: the black outs, the fade outs. All entwined in my shadow. What would you do if things were different? I swear this time I’ve fucking lost my head on this one. And so it’s done. And so it turns. But I’m still here. I’m still here. I’m still. You didn’t realize the damage done, until we’re all back in town. You better let ‘em, oh, you better let ‘em.
9.
Force laid to rest – I’m out of room for motion. Deep sea ship wreck. It’s heart burn. The code reads red – as the avalanche destroys the echoes’. I’m all out of breath. It’s heart burn. With all things considered – it’s useless to use. Let’s redefine the truce. My patience has been tested long before YOU. So don’t look so proud of yourself. Since logic ceased, our existence became dead and buried. Truth on a leash. It’s heartburn. Frustration, it seems, has found its place. I’ve found comfort in the heartburn. Don’t hold it back. We’re out. (With all things considered) With all things considered – it’s useless to use. Let’s redefine the truce. My patience has been tested long before YOU. So don’t look so proud… You’re inconsiderate as hell. Go fuck yourselves. We’re Out.

credits

released March 28, 2014

Written and performed by HOURS
HIGHSEAS RECORDS

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HOURS Durban, South Africa

Man-boys... fighting the future, figuring shit out, writing about it.

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